detailed review of director's cut (satire)

When I first heard George was going to do a directorâ??s cut of THX 1138 I was instantly suspicious of his motives. My suspicions were confirmed when I popped in the disc and hit play.

Sure the buck Rogers trailer was still there but he had colorized it and to make matters worse he digitally added sides to the picture to fill the wide screen image (because as you remember from the laser disc that the trailer is shown in 3.33:1)â?Š

One of my favorite things about thx 1138 was the way the credits run backwards at the beginning of the filmâ?Šyou can imagine my horror when I saw that he re-did the opening credits in star wars writing and put an epilog in there explaining that there was a nuclear war and that everyone lives underground, blah, blah, blah.

Then the camera descends from space through the clouds and down into the ground until you reach the underground society. It was so obvious that it was computer generated I nearly puked. I was extremely offended by the appearance of â??the city of the domesâ? from LOGANâ??S RUN in the background during the decent to earth and prayed that he would not try to incorporate Logan or Jessica into the filmâ?Šbut he did. Before running into the shell dwellers THX now takes a short cut through â??the love shopâ? to try and throw the cops off his trail. I was particularly offended when THX ran down the big staircase and actually passed Logan and Jessica saying, â??Excuse meâ?Špassing on the leftâ?

The white prison scene was very different with all those computer generated prison bars all over the placeâ?Šbut then came the worst thing in the whole filmâ?Š the black guy who was supposed to be a hologramâ?Šwasâ?Šyes you guessed it, replaced by jar jar binks. When jar jar blurts out â??meesa SRT, meesa hungry, can meesa hava those food cubes okeeday?â? I had to turn off the TV and walk away for a while.

I always remember Maggie mcommie having the most beautiful freckled skinâ?Šwell george went in and digitally removed each freckle making her look like an airbrushed fashion model. He also digitally removed all the stubble from her head so she is a fake shiny baldâ?Švery fake and very shiny.

I always loved the surveillance headquarters with all the old 70â??s TVs which are almost round and all the analog dials and gears in the dark and gritty room. Now surveillance headquarters is a room full of wide screen plasma TVs and futuristic PCâ??s (which are actually just MAC computers disguised to look like futuristic PCs.)

I was extremely dismayed when I got to the car chase scene and found that George had digitally added all the 50â??s cruising cars from American graffiti and put them in the slow lane as THX whips around them, but my disbelief turned to rage when he replaced the biker cops with storm troopers on return of the Jedi â??speeder bikesâ?. Then all of a sudden, all those pod racers from phantom menace come flying through the tunnel passing THXâ??s car and overpowering the scene with those loud engines.

Although all of these things sucked about the movie, I thought there is no way he would fuck with the endingâ?Šbut he did. When THX comes out and stands in front of the sun it then goes to a split screen with Logan and Jessica on the other side looking at the same sun from a different angle and they sayâ?Šâ?what is itâ?Šwhat ever it isâ?Šitâ??s warmâ?

For the next hour and a half of added footage we see THX and Logan and Jessica run around the wilderness, going swimming, they meet a guy who likes cats and then they run into this guy called Howard the duckâ?Šmind you it is a computer generated Howard the duckâ?Šnot like the realistic looking one in the georgeâ??s movie Howard the duck.

When they finally get to the volcano and throw in the ring the screen fades to black and I am left to thinkâ?Šwhat the hell was that.

Does anyone have a copy of the laser disc on DVDâ?ŠI donâ??t think I will watch the directorâ??s cut ever ever again.

Peace and love from Canada
Scott walmsley
By the wayâ?Šitâ??s satire!

THX-1138.ORG